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09/04/2019

CAN ANYONE PLEASE REVIEW AND CORRECT MY ESSAY?

QUESTION
CAN ANYONE PLEASE REVIEW AND CORRECT MY ESSAY?
For those who are interested in correcting my essay, please make sure to describe the corrections you’ve made in memo format.

Thank you for your support.

Faith in any religion is a vital part of life because it improves the quality of people’s emotional and spiritual well-being. People that have faith feel better about themselves and love everyone, no matter who they are. With their faith they also cope with stress or negative events and daily obstacles. In addition, faith gives people the confidence to improve hope for the future trough their own effort.

People that live by the rule of faith feel better about themselves and have affection towards people. One of the reasons individuals feel better about themselves is because they know they’re doing good things; such as attending church, reading the bible, and praying every night before they go to bed, which makes God happy. Therefore; God will bless these people with happiness and protect them from evil or anything that would endanger their lives. Another reason why God’s followers, especially older worshipers, feel better about themselves is because they have faith that God will forgive them for mistakes committed in the past, since they’ve been transformed into new people who now think positively. In addition; those who have faith also show love toward other people, no matter who the other person is, because they believe God created everyone equally. This means that no human being is better than any other because we are all air-breathers and are made of flesh and blood. No human being is different from any other because everyone is made of flesh and blood. Religious individuals also show affection towards others because they believe love is necessary in everyone’s life. Without love, those who are in need won’t receive the care or attention they need; the hungry will starve and the sick will die.

Individuals who have faith can cope with stress, negative events and other daily obstacles. This is because faith develops hope in people’s lives. People that have hope believe God will always be with them, even through hard times. No matter what the circumstances, people feel less worried if they know God is looking after them. However; there is usually a breaking point where a faithful person will worry and stress. They put their faith and hope in God, thinking he will take care of it, but they are really packing in disguised stress. This stress will eventually turn on them when they hit their mid-life crisis or menopause. Stress causes doubt and can lead a married couple to talk about divorce. Many will break down and question God and the Bible. This can go on for days, to several months or a year. Sometimes the person breaks through and says something along the lines of, “I was never truly saved until now”. Afterwards, they claim they are indeed true Christian and will more than likely act self-righteous. No need to worry, though; they will more than likely mellow out within a month or two. This cycle of falling back and becoming saved again will probably ensue for the rest of their lives. They will claim to be happy, but in reality they struggle every day and claim that it’s hard to be a Christian. They will question certain things, like remarriage, bad movies, music, games, etc., and struggle with wondering if they are okay or not.

Individuals who follow a spiritual faith are confident in their ability to improve life and to provide hope for the future. People who have religious beliefs are certain, because they are well-educated, that they can better their existence. For example, priest who preach the word of God to thousands of people, in order to bring about improvements in the lives of others, do so because they are confident of what they say. It is knowledge that builds their confidence from the people who are around them, (such as their family members, friends, and members of their community), and who follow the same religion.

ANSWER
I think your essay is great. You have a great vocabulary and seem like you provided enough information for it to be notable. I think that you should have a closing sentence. This closing sentence should put this whole essay into a bottle. You could say that “Faith is the key element of happiness and virtue. Without faith, a person has nothing to rely on except pure facts. Or Something Like That Other Than That I would let your mom or dad read over it, because sometimes you don’t catch your mistakes!!