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09/07/2019

Can anyone proofread/revise two paragraphs?

QUESTION
Can anyone proofread/revise two paragraphs?
if you have to add or remove some words please do so

What is beauty? Beauty can be defined in ways. The definition that everyone uses in beauty is the combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight. This topic of beauty affects all of us because in today’s culture society judges individuals whose appearances seems to matter more than what person portrays inside. In the essay “A Woman’s Beauty: Put Down or Power Source?” Susan Sontag explains that for women beauty is a job that they have to keep to maintain their job. She also mentions how women are seen by different parts of the body. I agree with Susan Sontag that women are encouraged to seek the power of beauty to seduce men.

Susan believes beauty affects women in all matters that it interferes with their jobs. She mentions how “for a woman, can never be just a pleasure. It is also a duty. It is her work. If a woman does real work- and even if she has clambered up to a leading position in politics, law, medicine, business, or whatever- she is always under pressure to confess that she still works at being attractive” (Sontag 327). This quote explains how women have to feel obligated to go to work dressed beautifully because as women they are required by society to be attractive. It doesn’t matter if their career is being a lawyer, nurse, doctor, or supervisor. I have experience an observation experience for example, my female cousin works as a sales associate at a retail store at the mall. She dresses really pretty to attract customers to the store, especially men. The store wouldn’t have any problem with what she wears since it attracts customers. So her beauty and beautiful appearance would play a big part of her job helps her job. It’s similar to the author’s point of view. Women use beauty as part of their life’s such like employment opportunities to further their careers.

ANSWER
What defines beauty? Is a mountain beautiful because it is massive and strong or is a butterfly beautiful because it is so small and delicate? As many great’s have stated, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But, how true is that legendary statement in today’s society. It would take only a single glance at a clothing store advertisement or a fashion magazine to realize that beauty may not be what we all hope for. We would all like to think that beauty is the combination of individual qualities, such as shape, color, or texture that pleases the aesthetic senses. Unfortunantly we are bound to reality; and reality tells us that in today’s society we will be judged mostly by appearance rather than inteligence or ability.
This theory is expressed in the essay “A Woman’s Beauty: Put Down or Power Source?”by Susan Sontag. The essay concludes that for women, beauty is a job that they must always maintain, a quality that has the potential to further a career and social relations. Sontag explaines this idea to the reader by providing her belief that women are seen mainly through body image. I agree with Sontag’s belief that women are encouraged to seek the power of beauty, especially in their job and social environments.

Susan believes that beauty affects women in all aspects of life. In her essay, Sontag writes “for a woman, (beauty) can never be just a pleasure. It is also a duty. It is her work. If a woman does real work- and even if she has clambered up to a leading position in politics, law, medicine, business, or whatever- she is always under pressure to confess that she still works at being attractive” (Sontag 327). This quote explains how women feel that it is their duty to go to work dressed beautifully to keep up with societies standards of what is beautiful. I agree with this essay because, I have observed this type of presure to be beautiful. For example, while my female cousin was working as a sales associate at a retail store in the mall she felt it was her responsibility to constantly dress beautifully in order to attract customers. Her bosses did not seem to mind as this method of attracting customers seemed to work flawlessly. This behavior reiterates the authors point that society does allow a women to use her beauty to further her career and social status.