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09/04/2019

Can somebody help me?

QUESTION
Can somebody help me?
I have to do a 500 words essay on diversity. The prompt is “Look at diversity in the united States;reflect on what you have learned in your life experience. Explain if you think diversity benefits society”
I started like this” I always knew that diversity is a very important aspect of life. In the world, there are expanded evaluation on diversity” Is this a good beginning? give me some examples

ANSWER
You need to look at you’re grammar (“I always knew that diversity was a very important aspect of life”).

Since I’m not a teacher I can’t be sure, but I’m fairly certain that “I always knew” is not a great way to start an essay. It implies that you are not looking at both sides of the argument, and it’s a wasted sentence in that it doesn’t provide any information about the actual topic. Also it’s not necessarily true that people have looked more at diversity the world over, and it is fairly irrelevant to your essay question because you are being asked about diversity in the US, so diversity the world over doesn’t help you much.

As for examples in which diversity helps/ doesn’t help, you could do a paragraph about music – there are plenty of music genres that are directly influenced by having difference races mix in certain ways (like the blues, I think). Since I don’t live in America and have never studied American history in any kind of detail I’m not that sure of examples.

Good luck with your assignment!