Can someone plz review my Common App personal essay?

Can someone plz review my Common App personal essay?
“What do you think about living abroad?” were the words of my father after he gathered us around the dinner table. My stomach cramped and my blood ran cold. It was the thing that I had feared since I first discovered various websites about living abroad in the search history of our computer. It would turn out to be a life-changer.
I guess you could have described me as your typical German: Introverted, individualist and to a certain degree, ignorant of other cultures. I was safe and at the same time trapped inside a comfort zone, my bubble, outside of which everything seemed strange and almost scary. Although my bubble kept me satisfied with the life I had in Germany, it also kept me from taking many opportunities and chances. It seemed natural that my whole life would happen in Germany, I would go to school and university there, find work there, retire there, and live there until the end of my days. I was so attached to the culture of my homeland that I was afraid of what would happen when my bubble would burst.
It rained the day we left Germany. This would later create a memorable contrast to the warm, friendly weather of Dubai on the day we arrived. I can still remember sitting on the warm sand on the beach and feeling the ocean breeze on my skin; just staring into the distance for a long time; trying to see what the future might hold for me.
Finally, my bubble burst. The first day of school I was greeted by a whole lot of students from many different countries eager to connect with me and with each other, which was so different from what I had been used to in Germany. Even out of school my life turned out to be quite different from what I expected and to what I was accustomed.
When I first went to the house of an Iranian friend of mine, I noticed many superficial differences, for example more affectionate greetings like exchanging kisses. On the other hand, I was impressed by how similar the family’s interactions with each other and me were to my culture. This was the same for all cultures I had the chance to experience in Dubai, and I realized that at the core, the values of different cultures are very similar, which took away my fear of the unknown. It turned me from the introverted person that I was to an extroverted individual, who found out he likes to experience new things and cultures and meet new people. The “land of opportunity”, as many call it, also gave me chances that I would have never thought about in Germany, for example studying in the US and having friends from many different cultures. The end of the illusion of my “perfect” life inside my bubble taught me to embrace change instead of being scared of it. Ultimately, Dubai altered my perception of the world and myself.

“Globalization or Regionalization” it was a main subject for thinking for me for the long time, during a journey in a virgin location in a mountain area, I found the people there, very simple and very original, the girls with traditional dresses with the nature harmony , they were chasing of animals. And when I was studding drama, I made a scenario about there. The scenario was a feasibility study in that mountain about a valuable mine in that mountain, if the operation of the mine was affordable then that area totally could be change and many industries and modern urbanity will cover all the life of there. Story will go on till every thing get depended to a decision from head team engineer but now he love the pristine nature of there, he knows if he send positive report about feasibility study then modern urbanity will sweep all traditional and original life style of there, its the why he send a negative report ; not technical but he had a propose behind.
When I shared this scenario with the master, he looked at me, and then he told me: this opinion is egoistic opinion! You can not live in modernity but like traditionalist for others!
now I like a society such as Dubai, many different nationalities are living together in same place, Cultural diversity has been accepted and every body regard other cultures or other religions. In the new century human need more compatibility and living in Dubai was a good experience in this regard. in this century we should not follow of Cultural superiority sights, but Cultural interaction should be our main concerns!