Close

09/07/2019

correct my writing??????

QUESTION
correct my writing??????
The essay question for the book Macbeth is something like “who’s responsible for the death of duncan”
please correct anything !!
Lady Macbeth plays a fundamental role in orchestrating king Duncan’s murder. Lady Macbeth is a foreboding character, she is a character whom implies an overall sinister appeal. She infuses a sense of motivation when devising the plot to in turn reap the benefits of Macbeth’s killings. Lady Macbeth is plagued by her desire to become queen. In the pursuit of her ambitions, she will sacrifice everything. When Macbeth presents the possibility of failure, Lady Macbeth becomes enraged and attacks his cowardliness and manhood, “when you durst do it then you are a man”. She manages to physiologically destroy Macbeth and his ego in order to control him like a puppet. Until the murder takes place, she commands Macbeth to be welcoming and “jovial among your guest tonight”, and to hide his evil schemings behind this innocent facade.

Despite Macbeth being under a lot of influence and manipulation, he had the final say over the things that happened, as it was physically him; his body that carried out the act. Macbeth allowed himself to be persuaded. After he meets the witches his ambition kindles, and even before he meets Lady Macbeth he states that he desperately wants the throne “the prince of Cumberland: that is a step on which i must fall down,or else o’er leap for in my way it lies”. Macbeth has always had free will from his first encounter with the witches, he independently decides to believe that the supernatural power of the witches will help him. Once Lady Macbeth has done her coercing of Macbeth to kill the king, nobody drives the dagger into the king other than Macbeth, “i have done the deed”. He creates his own misery when he is driven by the guilt of his actions, this causes him to become insecure about his actions, which causes him to commit more murders.
any criticism would be much appreciated!!!!!
how do i make it sound more like an essay rather a summary of the book Macbeth.

ANSWER
I am a Teachers Assistant for college level English. I changed a few things in your first paragraph though if you go with what I changed I personally would have given you a C+ after reading all but 3 sentences. Note that you aren’t trying to write a book. The best essays are clear and to the point. It is good to add a few good vocabulary words her and there but don’t make it to wordy.
Remember that in a essay paragraph you have a topic sentence, two or three supporting sentences and then a conclusion or ergo sentence. English professors LOVE transition sentences to make things flow better, so always try to add one.
In your case, the first paragraph might be structured as so:
(Topic sentence) Lady Macbeth did ________.
(Body sentences) Because she wanted _______. She did this by doing _______ and ______.
(Conclusion) Macbeth reacted to Lady Macbeth like ___________.
(transition) If applicable.

Slow your writing down, you could easily use the same information you put in your short essay and turned it into an interesting 5 paragraph essay.

Lady Macbeth plays a fundamental role in orchestrating king Duncan’s murder. SHE is a foreboding character AND implies an overall sinister appeal. She ACTS AS A FORM of motivation when devising the plot TO reap the benefits of Macbeth’s killings. Lady Macbeth is plagued by her desire to become QUEEN; In the pursuit of her ambitions, she sacrifices everything. When Macbeth presents the possibility of failure, Lady Macbeth becomes enraged and attacks his cowardliness and SHAMES manhood, “when you durst do it then you are a man”. She manages to physiologically destroy Macbeth and his ego in order to control him like a puppet. Until the murder takes place, she commands Macbeth to be welcoming and “jovial among your guest tonight”, and to hide his evil SCHEMING PLOT behind this innocent facade.