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09/08/2019

Could some one please edit my essay on drunk driving?

QUESTION
Could some one please edit my essay on drunk driving?
Right now I dont feel like my paper is flowing very well. Please help……
I’m having a hard time tieing it all together to come up with a closing.

Drunk Driving: Something Must Be Done
He never thought it would happen to him…..After having a few drinks he got into his car and headed home, but he never made it. He was drunk and driving and in his own little world, when out of nowhere someone pulled out in front of him. He never had a chance to stop…. And just like that his life and family was gone.
Drunk Driving is considered a serious crime; it is wrong, irresponsible and destroys many lives. Every thirty minutes someone is killed in an alcohol related crash and every two minutes someone else has been injured, according to (http://www.edgarsnyder.com/drunk-driving/statistics.html drunk driving statistics for the United States. Every person needs to be held accountable to for their actions, getting behind the wheel after a night of drinking out hascan have serious consequences; possibly killing or hurting yourself and others, losssing you of one’s drivers licenses and oneyou could have to spend time in jail as well as having hefty fines.
Alcoholic Alcohol is one theof the most abused substances in the United States weather the user is of age or not with no regard to the age of the individual user .For most users their first influence with drinking begins in childhood, they grow up watching their relativities drink in front of them. To some this is considered a normal thing.
Drunk driving is a very serious problem in our society today. People go out and party without a thought and thought or care and then with their liquid courage, they decide to drive putting everyone at risk, they have slower reaction and impaired judgment and they cause about seventy two thousand five hundred in 2008 there was an estimated eleven thousand seven hundred and seventy three people that died in drunk driving crashes, according to www.madd.org Mothers Against Drunk Drivers).deaths each year. Drivers need to think before entering into a vehicle after drinking, there is no excuse for drinking and driving, no excuse for being irresponsible. If someone chooses to go out and drink they need to take a cab home. Even one drink many be too much.
Everyday people are arrested for driving under the influence, while law enforcement agencies continue to crack down on these dangerous offenders, for many of these drivers this will not be there first DUI offense according to (alcoholism.about.com/cs/drive/a/aa08279… a drunk driver gets caught drinking they could have to do up to one year in jail These drivers may be supervised to find that penalties for DUI even if it is there first offense, have increased due to groups like Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. Groups like these and many others have helped to pass hundreds of new laws to stop drinking driving Nationwide since 1980. , these days it is said that one DUI could cost you ten thousand dollars, which is a lot of money for one night of fun although the fines and consequences could be much worse. In order to bring down the number of DUI states have taken some effective measures such as immediate license suspension, lowering the blood alcohol consummation levels, setting up sobriety checkpoints, and media campaigns about the danger of drink and drink.

When it comes to drinking and driving some feels there are some people that feel that celebrities get special treatment. Lindsay Lohan was arrested after crashing her car into a treetree; where she was found to have been drinking and was in possession of a small amount of cocaine. Lindsay took a plea deal on a misdemeanor drunk driving and possession charge where is she only served eighty four minutes in jail. Her original sentence was a day in jail but due to overcrowding in the jail she was sent free. What does this say to our society? If celebrities can get away with it why can’t we. This isn’t a good message to be sending out to our society.

ANSWER
The essay sounds good and you’re making a very strong point.
The sentence starting “Everyday people are arrested…” should be a new paragraph. I couldn’t see if it was or not.

To tie it up, I would say something like public awareness and public education are the key to stop this terrible problem. Educating the public through media campaigns (as you stated before) is one way. Another way is by specifically addressing teens as they approach the age of getting their driver’s licenses, either through special programs in driver’s ed, or in the high schools.

There are quite a few typos and words that repeat themselves in your essay, so it need to be proofread.

Good Luck.