Could someone edit this essay?

Could someone edit this essay?
I’m concerned there is too much mathematical jargon that it obscures the point I am trying to make, which is that, though striving is important, knowing between fatuousness and skipping ahead is important.

I didn’t get the point/theme of your essay, the first paragraph makes no sense and I’m sure you were trying to relate a cold to math, but it didn’t work. Don’t say that you “lied” in order to get into the class:that’s not going to sit well with admissions.

Too much math jargon.

And be careful when using big words, make sure you use the words in the correct way. Better yet, use common words. For example,in the last paragraph, instead of byzantine, use complex. By the way, mercurial means unpredictable, angry, volatile.