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Want a piece of this action? Click here Get a free trial today!I’m back! What did I miss? I can tell you what I wanted in this chapter, but I’m not telling you everything, for fear it’ll break the story.
Chapter 10
“My God, what do we have here?!”
“I don’t know.”
“I swear that the first thing you did upon hearing us was to run around the house.”
“What do you mean, what, do you mean that it’s not funny?”
“If I’m going to be the one to ask for your forgiveness, then I’m going to ask in my normal tone of voice. I’m going to do you a solid and ask for forgiveness, not with an overly friendly tone of voice.”
“Do you think we would have a better time? Because if we would have…”
“How am I ‘too’ late?”
I’m almost there. A few more days. Just enough for me to put my mind at ease.
We had been discussing where, when, and how exactly to kidnap the most beautiful woman in England and force her to marry me. It is, in my mind, a question that could never have been easily answered. There are only so many women in the world and, if you make every effort to force them, then you will eventually break your own standards if you can’t find a perfect woman. I had always made it clear that the only reason why I had to marry was because, for all intents and purposes, it would be the easy thing. In a country without any social customs, you would have someone like me come and force his way onto your country women. And in a country with no laws, you wouldn’t find a better one either. I could do whatever I wanted when it came to marriage. The only thing that prevented me from marrying someone was this: I needed the permission of my father.
“You don’t know when I’ll have to talk to you, right?”
“Not unless you want to bet the farm that I won’t be doing well with her, because you’d have to kill or burn me, and a little bit of that would probably be fine, yes.”
Yes, the same way I was always able to find out if you liked my jokes.
“And you’re right, we wouldn’t have to wait long at all. What the hell, let’s just kidnap her and keep her locked in a small dungeon somewhere. That’s not that difficult!”
“No, we’ll have to ask her.”
I’m not trying to be mean. I was just trying to be honest.
I’m sure you did not hear that, because we went very quietly to wherever we were going later. But I’m sorry I cannot say whether or not your father listened to me. When I asked for permission to kidnap the girl, he, after going through all the trouble to convince my mother of the plan