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09/08/2019

Essay paragraph help?

QUESTION
Essay paragraph help?
Hi, i have to write a compare and contrast essay on the characters of a movie. Here is my supposed comparison paragraph: is it correct? if not can you please help me revising it?

“Both Akeelah and Dylan are good spellers who are up against each other to claim the title of Scripps National Spelling Bee Champion. They undergo many changes in their characters and grow in maturity as a result of their participation in the National Spelling Bee. Akeelah learns that individuals can accomplish anything if they have the determinations to do it and if they believe in themselves. And Dylan learns how to be emotionally strong when he stands up to his father by intentionally misspelling a winning word during the Nation Spelling Bee contest. His father had forced him into the spelling bee and wanted him to win. These development in their maturity help change their characters. For example, Akeelah who, in the beginning of the movie, is portrayed as a girl who is afraid to express herself, emerges, after the National Spelling Bee, as a bold girl who is not afraid of facing others. Similarly, Dylan, who is seen as being anti-protagonist and one who wishes malice for Akeelah, turns out to be a good boy from within when he reveals his good wishes for Akeelah, in the end of the movie.”

ANSWER
Both Akeelah and Dylan are *no need to say good, i mean they are in the national spelling bee champs* spellers who are up against each other to claim the title of Scripps National Spelling Bee Champion. They undergo many changes in their characters and grow in maturity as a result of their participation in the National Spelling Bee. Akeelah learns that individuals can accomplish anything if they have the determinations to do it and if they believe in themselves. And Dylan learns how to be emotionally strong when he stands up to his father by intentionally misspelling a winning word during the Nation Spelling Bee contest. His father had forced him into the spelling bee and wanted him to win. These development in their maturity help change their characters. For example, Akeelah who, in the beginning of the movie, is portrayed as a girl who is afraid to express herself, emerges, after the National Spelling Bee, as a bold girl who is not afraid of facing others. Similarly, Dylan, who is seen as being anti-protagonist and one who wishes malice for Akeelah, turns out to be a good boy from within when he reveals his good wishes for Akeelah, in the end of the movie.”