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09/08/2019

Failing to motivate myself at college thus beginning to fail, any suggestions?

QUESTION
Failing to motivate myself at college thus beginning to fail, any suggestions?
On my second year at college,
the first year the course was exciting, loads of new people to get to know, had a new gf at college, so i had loads of motivation to go to college an do well.
Now its the second year, i know most of the people, most of them are boring, i ended it with my gf (don’t wanna write an essay about why) and the courses although still interesting arn’t as interesting as before.
My works beginning to slowly pile up, grades are falling, attendance is dropping.
I think the route of the problem is just not having the motivation i had in the first year, any ideas on how to get myself back that motivation?
Or i do i just have to struggle through as it’s not really gona come back

ANSWER
No – you sound like you are depressed. It probably has to do with the girlfriend, but depression takes the color out of your world in a hurry and this sounds exactly like the symptoms.
So – see a counselor, because you need some coping methods to make this year easier until you start to come around. In time you will recover your interest and your happiness – but that can take valuable months. It can be really a hard struggle – I had an entire year like that myself after a really bad breakup from my first romance. It was hard, but you need to focus on just getting through it for a while until your mind copes better and gets things put away more tidily in your head about it.
You need to work on focus – throw yourself into working through the classwork one step at a time – one foot in front of the other, my friend, and it will start to get better as the weeks move on by. Don;t – DO NOT let this mess you up! Talk to your instructors about the fact that you had some personal stuff mess you up and ask them how to make up some space in your grades. They work with college kids all day – they know you all are working through so much stuff and it all is heavy on you – they also were young once, and they can be sympathetic, or at least understanding, eh? So tell them you repent not being “with it” so far this semester and they may go easier on you, too. Then just concentrate on being organized and you need to keep moving on the school work. Also try to make some time for your friends – they seem colorless right now and you probably feel like being mean to them, but you need some social time to keep your mind working – so work on school and spend time talking to people – even crying with them. Sometimes you can tell some lab partner you barely know all the gorey details and cry your heart out and them may find that it was not very helpful for the lab assignment that night, but overall you will feel a lot better…and probably never see them after that class is over, right? Still do the lab work as well as you can, but feel free to lean on other people – it does not hurt them one bit.
Once you see the grades getting under control or getting them under control next semester, you can feel better about that – just grit your teeth, talk to a counselor and whoever else you feel like, and keep moving forward. In time, the sun will come out and the path will get easier. It was about two years until I wanted to be in another relationship, but by then I had been happier for about a year, I guess – it just took a while to be ready to get back into the fray again…and now my husband and I have been married for 18 years! So next time you will make a wiser choice of mates, look at it that way.