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09/08/2019

Help need someone to help check for grammar mistakes?

QUESTION
Help need someone to help check for grammar mistakes?
Hi guys I have a huge writing essay that’s due by the end of the week and this is what I have so far. I know im missing a concluding sentence but I will come up with something. anyways I need you guys to help check over it for errors. Please help and check it. Be as hard on me as you need to haha I deserve it. If you can make any changes please help me out. thanks! here’s my essay:

School uniforms are a topic that gets debated in Catholic schools all over the world several times a year. These debates usually happen because school establishments want their student body to look professional. Many catholic schools here in Florida have already implemented the use of uniforms because of how much they can be beneficial. Here at Pensacola Catholic High School the use of a dress code can seem harsh. The dress code states that students must wear a collared shirt, girls can wear skirts that must go to the knee, and boys must have long pants with a belt. Schools use uniforms to make students look professional, lessen student pressures, and save the school administrators from having to police what the students wear. Schools that implement uniforms will obtain great benefits and will help lead students to outstanding results in the future. Generally, most schools prefer their students to look professional. Many people say that a student in a school uniform is more likely to take school seriously. Putting on a uniform signals that he or she is going to school looking dressed up and ready for the day. Furthermore, acquiring uniforms can lessen certain pressures students might have. Avoiding distractions, such as what is popular to wear, can stop some tensions between peers. Some students have turned class time into an unending choice of how to become cool with what they wear. All of these reasons can distract from learning, as some of the students spend more time focused on their clothes rather than on homework. Lastly, uniforms can save the school administrators from having to police what the students wear. Teachers and other school workers have many tasks to do before they begin their lessons. Adding more duties to their line of work can make it troublesome for them as well as the students. The teachers should be able to go along with their day not worrying about what the students wear.
The use of uniforms is extremely beneficial to schools as well as students. With the help of a uniform, students will dress looking professional and academically ready. Concerns, such as what peers may think of a student, are easily lessened when wearing a uniform. Troublesome disturbances also occur with teachers but can too be lowered due to uniforms being introduced into a school. The teachers may not have to check for errors in the students’ apparel.

ANSWER
Here’s my edit, anything (in parentheses) are things that I changed from your original. Anything with a -hyphen before and after it- is something that I crossed out. Wherever you see ((double parentheses)), that’s a note that I added in to explain to you why I changed something.

School uniforms are a topic that gets debated in Catholic schools all over the world several times a year. -These debates usually happen because school establishments want their student body to look professional.- ((Because you are going to say this exact same thing later in the paragraph, please omit it here.)) Many (Catholic) schools here in Florida have already implemented the use of uniforms because of (how beneficial they can be.) Here at Pensacola Catholic High School(,) the (dress code is very strict.) ((I eliminated ‘harsh’ because this essay is supporting the use of a dress code, and harsh doesn’t really fit into what you’re trying to say.)) The dress code states that students must wear a collared shirt, girls (must) wear skirts that -must- go to the knee, and boys must have long pants with a belt. Schools use uniforms to make students look professional, lessen student pressures ((please elaborate on what this means)), and save the school administrators from having to police what the students wear. Schools that implement uniforms will obtain great benefits ((please explain what these benefits are)) and help lead students to outstanding results in the future ((again, please explain why uniforms help students perform better in the future)). ((Also, here is a good place to break the paragraph.))

Generally, most schools prefer (that their students look professional. Many people say that a student in a school uniform is more likely to take school seriously. Putting on a uniform signals that he or she is going to school looking dressed up and ready for the day. ((Good point!))

Furthermore, acquiring uniforms can lessen certain pressures students might have. Avoiding distractions, such as what is popular to wear, can stop some tensions between peers. -Some students have turned class time into an unending choice of how to become cool with what they wear.- ((This is a really awkward sentence, and although I know what you’re talking about, the structure isn’t quite right. Try and rephrase it completely so it makes more sense, because the idea is good.)) All of these reasons can distract from learning, as some of the students spend more time focused on their clothes rather than on homework. ((Again, paragraph break here.))

Lastly, uniforms can save the school administrators from having to police what the students wear. Teachers and other school workers have many tasks to do before they begin their lessons. Adding more duties to their line of work can make it troublesome for them as well as the students. The teachers should be able to go along with their day not worrying about what the students wear.

The use of uniforms is extremely beneficial to schools as well as students. With the help of a uniform, students will dress looking professional and academically ready. Concerns, such as what peers may think of a student, are easily lessened when wearing a uniform. -Troublesome disturbances also occur with teachers but can too be lowered due to uniforms being introduced into a school.- ((Again, I know what you’re saying, but it’s a very awkward sentence. Try and rephrase it.)) The teachers may not have to check for errors in the students’ apparel.

And the concluding paragraph! I like it a lot, just see if you can put a little more meat into your body paragraphs as right now they’re a little short. Well done!