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09/07/2019

Help with essay/Thesis?? editing, examples, suggestions?? 10pts best answer!?

QUESTION
Help with essay/Thesis?? editing, examples, suggestions?? 10pts best answer!?
Im trying to write an essay that explains why technology, especially the use of computers is essential for children to be more and more familair with at an early age. Im going to be a teacher and I think that more use of computers in the classroom would be inherety beneficial to a childs future development inside and outside the classroom..

Im not that good a writing..so I hope what I wrote below makes some sense..

Im not really clear on what i want the thesis to say or if I have one at all..please help if you can. Thanks!

We can expect nearly 90 percent of the upcoming workforce to utilize computers within their working environments. The computer is a technology that is not likely to go away. With almost every future job requiring computer skills, children need to begin developing those skills—now. Being that majority of a child’s time is in school, the best place a child can be educated and gain experience with working computers is school.

ANSWER
You have a good opening paragraph, but it is a little confusing. This needs work too, but I hope it helps.

In the future Ninety percent of employees will use a computer in their working environment. As jobs become more reliant on computers it has become necessary to train our children how to use them proficiently. Reading, writing and arithmetic should not be the only subjects that we require a student to learn. In order to prepare our children for the future computer technology should be added and required in the school curriculum.