How am I gonna get over my stress?
From afar you wouldn’t think I have much to complain about, I live in a nice house in a decent area, caring parents and your average siblings, a lot of friends who are great people, spending my free time reading, writing, playing some video games or watching tv.
But where i’ve been for a few months.
I’ve been stressing over my SATs, immensely, i’m only at a 1300 right now and the way things are going I won’t be able to get to a 1500, i’m awful at math, extremely awful, I know that, i’m taking life math in school right now because it’s the only math I can’t **** up. My reading and writing on the sections don’t help bring up my math, hell sometimes I lack in those sections too, I only get 4’s on the essay. My uncle’s nephew just died of cancer and it’s real tough on him and his family, and it bothered me for a while too, I became sort of depressed for a day or two, I couldn’t go to the wake I just couldn’t do it, I feel awful, and I feel bad for giving off my depressed attitude to my friends, they didn’t deserve that. Hell I shouldn’t even be depressed, I didn’t know him very well, but me and my cousin, we never really had anything good to say about him because that side of the family(My uncle, we’re not related to him) we always had this contempt and now he’s gone, i feel awful. I’ve liked this girl immensely for over a year now, I don’t deserve her at all. She’s so smart, an all honors student, and she’s high in social rank in our high school, and i’m nothing short of a nerd. She’s so extravagant, it’s weird, when I met her I thought to myself, meh, but as I got to know her, she literally became the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known, it’s like beauty is skin deep, but some of that beauty escaped and coated her face. She doesn’t wear makeup, she dresses comfortably, sometimes it’s something sort of nice, other times it’s just a sweatshirt and pants. She’s also athletic, we’re both on track, and I admire her from afar, she hardly notices me, I never get to talk to her because, first of all I have no idea if she broke up with her boyfriend, and because I never EVER have the time to talk to her, it pisses me off, I haven’t talked to her in months, and when I do I make eye contact with her and it’s literally the best feeling, her beautiful brown eyes are just captivating. Speaking of Track, that’s stressing me out too. I’m one of the top distance runners, the one and two mile are my races, but I haven’t improved upon my personal record since last spring. It’s pissing me off, because back then I was top of my game, making records for myself every single meet, now that damn feelings gone, I’ll be a senior next year and i’m determined to leave breaking the school record, which is about a minute faster than my time. I’ve just lost so much motivation I guess, sometimes I go out saying “I’m gonna do this” and within time I tire down, and say “Screw it, just take it easy” I try not to, sometimes I even tell myself to do it for the girl I really like, but what am I kidding, what does she care about me, I don’t even know if she knows my ******* name, she hangs out with the biggest douche bags in my school, I know they won’t try anything on her but still, it puzzles me why someone as smart as her would ever converse with people as idiotic as them. I also had an awful GPA in freshman and sophomore year, i’m bringing it up now but it’s still real bad, and i’m working my *** off to get 90’s in English(I have a love for the subject) and I always end up with damn 80s. With grades like that i’ll never do good on my SATs, i’ll never be deserving of my honors student crush, and it’ll correspond with the pressure Track is causing. A kid who got hurt took ALL of last year off, he’s a real nice kid. but he can be a bit of a douche some time, but we all like him, nobody dislikes him, and after that year long hiatus, he comes back, lacking in running, and then within some time BOOM, he’s the third fastest winter 600 runner in the COUNTRY(Yes, America)
I don’t want to convey jealousy but it does get me a bit pissed off.
Any advice on what I should do?
The best for you is to join Yoga and meditation classes and learn all their techniques and knowledge. You will become familiar and conversant to tackle such tough and difficult issues within six months. Be regular and prompt in attending the yoga classes. In Yoga they teach lot of physical exercises coupled with some mental exercises to keep your body and mind always fit, trim and strong. Then it is easy for you to shape or fashion your future life to suit your best comforts, conveniences and future prospects.