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09/04/2019

i need advice on how to start off my scholarship essay!?

QUESTION
i need advice on how to start off my scholarship essay!?
I am writing this essay for a scholarship i’m applying to and I need some help on how I should start off with the first sentence. I know what I want to say in the essay but I need help on how to start off! Thanks for your help!!

The prompt is: Include a typed essay of 500 words or less that describes your educational and career objectives, including why you selected these particular objectives.

ANSWER
Actually I find that structuring scholarship essays in the “traditional” format that high school teachers drill into our heads is just limiting! I would not turn this into a bland essay with a thesis (as someone else suggested). Tell a story, use descriptive language, and draw them in!

Now I don’t want to give you a sentence since I don’t really know what your writing about, but I’ll put an example for one of the essays I wrote. It wasn’t a scholarship essay (it was actually a college supplement essay):
“Within the ornate theater, the audience waits in anticipation. The murmurs of the crowd fade away as the conductor gives a small bow to a round of applause before turning to face the orchestra. His arms rise, and instantly, as if the players are puppets and he the puppeteer, instruments are raised and bows set to strings. Nothing can be heard, save for the silence ringing through the air. Then his arms descend. A light, airy melody springs forth, originating in the violins, soon to be joined by the flutes.”

— This was the first paragraph of my essay answering the prompt “What makes you happy?” and it was about the first time I saw the Nutcracker Ballet when I was 6 years old. I went on to talk about how it has influenced my love of music and how playing my instrument and listening to music makes me happy.

So what I’m trying to say, answer the prompt without having to regurgitate it. So don’t just say: My educational and career objectives are ______. I chose these because ______.