I need help getting started with this satire essay about US – Mexico Border Security?
How about something like this to get your started?
Jim’s Journal: Day 14: Hard to believe it’s only been two weeks since they sent me on this hell hole assignment. Feels like a year. Christ Almighty, I can practically smell Mexico from here, it’s so close. And believe me, that’s not a good thing.
Dave and Jason left me here to patrol alone, again! If I didn’t have the lowest seniority I’d put a stop to this. So here I am, all alone, with nothing but a walkie talkie, binoculars, and a gun they keep warning me to only use in dire emergencies. God, I hate this job.
Esteban (Mexican side of border). Day 333. I wake up today and thank God for this beautiful day and the most wonderful job on earth. I am lucky man. I am police man and I wear badge. Many girls look at me and smile. They wave to me and they offer me cool drinks. All day long I just check the border area for trouble, and if I see anyone trying to cross into USA it fills my heart with joy that I can show them where the stupid gringos are never watching.
Hard to believe it’s almost a year I be on this job. It seems like only yesterday I start this beautiful work.
Jim’s Journal: Day 17
Those lazy Mexicans hardly have any border protection. But heck, who wants to illegally cross INTO Mexico, right? It’s so boring out here. Nothing to do. No one to talk to. Could this job suck any more?
And all I see is some lazy Mexican Federale cruising around in an old, sunburnt Jeep. Well, at least I don’t have to endure those third world conditions. I’m gonna keep my eye on that guy, though. He seems suspicious.
Esteban: Day 336 Life is beautiful. I take drive in my Jeep. Americans on other side of fence must envy me. They have to ride in big SUV’s with tinted windows. That can’t be much fun. Like for old ladies. Not macho.
Today three men come asking for advice about how to cross border. I give them map, and they give me Tequila. Good exchange. I help so many to get into U.S. and God blesses me with good health and this good job.
I see one American all the time with my binoculars I buy cheap on internet. He looks sad. Never smiles. He probably envies us here in Mexico. Cheap beer and most beautiful women. I try not to smile so he not feel I mock him. Not his fault he don’t live with beautiful chuladas here in Mexico.
But maybe I make mistake. He look at me so much. Maybe he gay. I hear many Americans gay. I see on tv, so must be truth.
Jim’s Journal: Day 18
Christ in heaven, what the hell did I ever do to make you curse me with this infernal job? It’s so f-ing hot out here. Only good thing is the air conditioning in the SUV, and those tinted windows are a life-saver!
I keep seeing that sad-looking Mexican Federale. Man, he must have a crummy life. He never even smiles. Probably envies all we got in the U.S. Good thing I’m on the job to keep people like him out. No way some Latino rent a cop could ever get the best of me. I haven’t caught, or even seen, an illegal trying to cross in over 10 days. The Federale must have passed the word I have eagle eyes.
One thing creeps me out. He keeps looking at me. I wonder if he’s gay? I hear a lot of Mexicans secretly are. I think I saw something about that on cable tv.
Well, you get the idea… both guys have completely the wrong impressions. Hope this gives you a bit of direction. Have fun with it.