Close

09/08/2019

Is this a good introduction ?

QUESTION
Is this a good introduction ?
basiccly i have to write an essay for a book called “roll of thunder hear my cry” and the question was with detailed reference show how the author explored the theme of racism .
And this is my intro :
Mildred taylor, the author of “roll of thunder hear my cry” clearly outlines racism in her novel . she skillfully uses the characters and events in her novel to show and make us explore the prejudice in mississipi in the 1930’s when the book was set . taylor has created manny situations in her novel were several of the characters are taken advantage of as well as discriminated against . throughout the novel the white people form an irrational judgement on the black race , innocent people were getting burned and lynched . “roll of thunder hear my cry ” is a novel which exposes on how hatred , humiliation and cold depravity fills the gap between the two races , the races of black and white .

Is it good and if not how can i correct it , or give me some tips 😛 Ty x

ANSWER
Content-wise, it’s a good introduction. You don’t over-explain, which is a mistake lots of people make in an introduction; you briefly touch upon what you will be talking about (characters and events), but link this in to a quick context instead of rambling and/or delving into explanation.

I’m unsure if your lack of capitals is because you just jotted it down in the question (most likely), but if you did copy and paste i would definitely check your capital letters and spelling, as well as your punctuation. I would also watch how you’ve phrased a sentence or two: “to show and explore the prejudice”, “taken advantage of and discriminated against”, “irrational opinion of the black race” or “show irrational judgement of the black race”, “and innocent people”.

Your last line is good, it has the emphasis about it that will capture interest. It’s a good start to hopefully what will be a high-grade essay. I’m not sure what year you are in, so i’m just going to rattle of some general advice for you. Remember the three/four Assesment Objectives (i’ll sum up)

AO1) Clear language, terminology, and express ideas well (general description and ideas, etc.)
AO2) Good critical understanding, ability to critise texts’ ideas, forms and structures well (explain the inner impressions, further analyse structure or ideas etc)
AO3) Compare and contrast between other texts or interpretations (quotes from other texts/critics to support or oppose whatever point you/the book makes) – if you are studying a “comparison text”, anything you write about it counts as AO3
AO4) Mention context (what people would have thought in the 1930s about the book’s ideas, how they would react to the points it makes about segregation etc., how it differs from what people would think now, what was going on in the world at the time that could have influenced the author when writing)

MOST IMPORTANTLY, remember the “PEE” or “PEEL” acronyms when analysising. “Point, Evidence, Explanation” (make your point, provide a quote form the text as evidence, describe how the text shows the point) and “Point, Evidence, Explanation, Link” (Link back to the essay’s main question).

I hope this helps x