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09/08/2019

My sister’s graduation is tomorrow but I have finals?

QUESTION
My sister’s graduation is tomorrow but I have finals?
So my sister is graduating from her acting program tomorrow. I really want to go support her but the problem is I am also in college and I have finals starting on Monday which means I would be losing a whole day of studying/essay writing time between driving home, the actual event, and driving back. 🙁 Graduation’s only happen once, but I don’t want to put my grades in jeopardy either… I’m not worried that she will hold it against me or anything as we have a good relationship, I just feel like I’m disappointing her and my mom who wanted us all there together. I know this is going to be a personal decision but I just wanted to hear some other people’s thoughts, thanks for your time

ANSWER
Why don’t you write her a nice note, using a very nice graduation card, explaining how much you want to be there for her graduation. It wouldn’t make sense for you to jeopardize your own graduation to attend hers.

In fact, although I might be a little flattered for a sister of mine to attend my graduation under such circumstances, I would respect her more for taking her own grades & potential graduation seriously . . . especially if she were to write me a nice card, AND called me on that day, too. . . . The telephone is a wonderful invention, you know. . . . Make good use of it at times like this!

You can plan to celebrate her graduation with her –and your mom– at a later date . . . when you don’t have responsibilities weighing you down. If you want to give her a graduation gift, I suggest that you do it then, when she can hug you for it, and you can hug her back, and the two –or three– of you can reminisce together . . . without the dread of looming finals over your head. (You can mention that you will personally deliver her gift later, in the message in the card.)

They should both understand that you didn’t pick the date of your finals, any more than she picked the date of her graduation. It’s nobody’s fault that they fall so close together.

I’ve never understood why so many people put such emphasis on having family gatherings on specific days, despite it being very inconvenient –sometimes impossible– for many of them to attend. The important thing is to be able to get together, AND, be able to enjoy the time together!

On major holidays more time gets spent on the roads getting to & from party destinations, than time spent with friends & family . . . And, a lot of headaches ensue due to heavy traffic! Most of that could be avoided, if people didn’t aim to all have their get-togethers on the same dates!

If it were my graduation, and my sister was having this dilemma, although I would be disappointed at her not being there, it wouldn’t ruin my life. She isn’t a 5 year old that can’t understand. In fact, if you attended anyway, and then had trouble with your finals, I would feel a little responsible for it . . . and that would not leave me feeling happy. (Another thing to consider is how it might leave you feeling.)

So, think about taking care of your responsibilities first, and making non-attendance at her graduation up to her after having taken care of them. You should all/both be better able to enjoy your time together without worries of your finals in the backs of anyone’s minds!

Remember, you didn’t choose the dates! They are just a coincidence, which you should feel NO guilt for!