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09/04/2019

Persuasive conclusion paragraph help?

QUESTION
Persuasive conclusion paragraph help?
I am writing a persuasive essay on Animal Abuse. What I have is “Abusive pet owners still aren’t facing the correct consequences. These animals deserve more than this, they deserve justice and freedom. They deserve to live happily lives free of abuse and neglect. The people who do these cruel and selfish acts need to pay. They het to move on and live their life’s as if nothing ever happened while the animals are left to suffer or ultimately die. These animal abusers believe harming defenseless animals is acceptable. We need to step up and take action before it’s too late.”
Is this a good ending? If not, how would you reword it? Please help.

ANSWER
I am writing a persuasive essay on Animal Abuse. What I have is “Abusive pet owners aren’t facing the severe enough consequences. Abused animals deserve more than a life of misery. Abused animals deserve justice and safety. They deserve to live happily, free from abuse and neglect. People who do these cruel and selfish acts need to be held responsible for their actions. They get to move on and live their lives as if nothing ever happened, while the animal continues to suffer or worse die. Animal abusers believe harming defenseless animals is acceptable, it’s not. We, as a society, need to step up and take action, we need to show that this type of behaviour is unacceptable in our society.

Is this a good ending? If not, how would you reword it? Please help.
My class is working quietly at the moment. I have tweaked this a little for you, as Im not sure what grade you are in I haven’ t changed much, however have a look at yours and what I have done and see how it makes what you are saying stronger.
Best wishes!