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09/07/2019

Please help me (essay). ?

QUESTION
Please help me (essay). ?
I already have the second draft written but I need people to edit it that aren’t as stupid as the teenage boy that edited it today.

Leaders of every nationality and every generation have used extravagant language to voice their opinions. Leaders use the art of rhetoric to inspire and to unify their people to common goals or ideas. While powerful rhetoric can bring together a nation, it can also tear it apart. As stated by Adolf Hitler, “Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise”. This statement, even though uttered by a tyrant, has every ounce of truth. It explains how the use of language, for good or bad, for unity or division, for peace or war, can be used in both the real world and stories, for example, Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare. Rhetoric plays a vital role in the events of the play Julius Caesar and the world.

In Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare wrote about characters that use their intellect to make powerful speeches to the people and each other. When addressing the public the leaders of Julius Caesar appeal to pathos ethos and logos to persuade the plebeians of their ideas. After the deed of killing Caesar had been done Brutus tried to sway the plebeians by saying, “…Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer: Not that I loved Caesar less, but I loved Rome more…”(3, 2, 21-22). Brutus had honor and was smart so he was able to temporarily gain the praises of the people. Sadly, this victory was short lived. Once Brutus had left Anthony took advantage of his chance to speak and said, ““…When that the poor hath cried, Caesar hath wept; Ambition should be made of sterner stuff…”(3, 2, 92-93) Anthony’s words were so convincing that it stirred the plebeians to action against all of those who had conspired against their fallen leader. Also, Anthony appealed to the citizens’ greed and told them about Caesar’s will by stating, “Moreover, he hath left you all his walks, his private arbors, and new-planted orchards…”(3, 2, 248-249). Anthony was a very intelligent man and that was eventually caused the downfall of Brutus and multiple others.

Stories of brilliant, manipulative leaders are not all fiction. Adolf Hitler was a gifted speaker who used his talents to convince people to believe the same as him. In his August 8th, 1920 speech at Salzburg he compared the Jewish people to an illness and said, ““…This Jewish contamination will not subside, this poisoning of the nation will not end, until the carrier himself, the Jew, has been banished from our midst.” Hitler used his spectacular speeches to make Germany believe his absurd views and start a genocide that is now known as the Holocaust. On the positive side of the spectrum, Mr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a black rights activist who used his very own methods of speech and persuasion to melt the cold hearts of mankind during a difficult time. He once said, “Mankind must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love”. Through his leadership and multiple speeches such as “I had a dream” he has been known as an importance force in the fight for equality.

Through the years great speakers have influenced the world and stories with their usage of rhetoric. Shakespeare wrote of power struggles between speakers while Hitler used power and speech to influence thoughts. Lastly, Martin Luther Kin Jr. inspired people to respect diversity. No matter what situation, leaders use words to manipulate and create a world in image of what they believe is the best.

ANSWER
Well in the opening sentence you should have said, “Leaders of every nationality and OF every generation have used extravagant language to voice their opinions.” (I capitalized what needed to be change). Also the first sentence in the closing paragraph should have said, “Through the years, great speakers have influenced the world and many(?) stories with the usage of rhetoric.” The second from last sentence should be, ” Martin Luther King Jr. inspired people to respect diversity.” In the last sentence it needs to be, “…leaders use words to manipulate and to create…” Hope that was helpful. I have been going over a lot of these types of errors in Composition so they stood out to me. =) Overall very good paper!