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09/08/2019

Project helpppppppppppp!?

QUESTION
Project helpppppppppppp!?
I’m writing a persuasive essay on why schools shouldn’t have uniforms and I need help on my intro and closing. I cant seem to make the intro “eye catching” or the closing entertaining…..Please Help! My thesis is: children should have the ability to express themselves, uniforms may cost too much for lower income families and uniforms are uncomfortable and itchy, which can distract students from paying attention in class.

ANSWER
It is very good until “uncomfortable and itchy” mostly because perhaps there are other types of uniforms that arent uncomfortable and itchy. you could say something about them not being the most comfortable and suiting outfits because people have different opinions on what comfortable is. (ex. maybe a girl is uncomfortable with wearing a skirt because she is self conscious). you can still mention that in most cases the materials are uncomfortable, but putting it in your thesis would mean you would have to expand on that, and that would be very difficult to write about. and not to mention your teacher could consider that as too bias.

hope i helped 🙂