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09/08/2019

Rate this essay 1-10 please! Where it needs improvement?

QUESTION
Rate this essay 1-10 please! Where it needs improvement?
Heroism
“Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary.” Gerard Way is saying that any person can make a difference if they are willing to put forth the effort and not give up. They keep going and when something gets in their way they persevere.
Heroism is doing good things when no one else is looking, as well as not giving up. In Rebekah’s letter to Ana she says “Even though her chances were slim, she would keep on fighting till the very end. Rebekah couldn’t have defined heroism any better. Even though Ana has been diagnosed with this terrible disease called cancer she is going to fight and hang right with it. Ana shows that underdogs CAN win, while inspiring everyday cancer fighters to not give up.
Perseverance plays a big role in heroism. A perfect example of perseverance is the character Marlin in the “Nemo” Nemo gets captured by the humans and Marlin sets out on a journey throughout the great big ocean to find his son. Marlin battles his way through challenges such as menacing sharks, jellyfish, and a massive Angler fish. He risks his life time and time again until his son is finally rescued. “A Man” is a poem about a soldier who loses an arm fighting for his country. In the poem the author writes “From that moment on, he set himself to do everything with twice as much enthusiasm.” By setting himself to do everything with twice as much enthusiasm he is persevering and making up for his lost arm. A man once said “Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” This quote is both funny and very true. “A Man” Puts in twice as much effort and that is what he will get out. Next, the author writes “And where the arm had been torn away a wing grew.” The wing represents hope, and once you have hope, you have a reason to persevere.
Now a days, heroism is portrayed in the wrong ways in movies, T.V. shows, books, and comics etc. They portray heroes as being big and strong. They don’t need a costume, or any kind of superpowers. They don’t need a sidekick, and most importantly there is not always a villain. In “An Everyday Hero” Ana is just a regular woman who just refuses to give up. In “Mulan”, Mulan has troubles with her maidenly arts. So when her sick father gets called into the army to fight, Mulan, just a regular girl, answers the call and joins in place of him.
Heroism is not about the fame and the glory. It can be fighting a deadly disease everyday, it could be living life with one arm, but putting in twice as much effort in order to make up for the other. At the end of the day, you could be saving your son! These people, are ordinary people who decide to make themselves extraordinary. It was only because of their hard work, bravery and perseverance that they became the heroes that they are recognized as today.

ANSWER
If this is a highschool essay I’d give it a 7 out of 10.
I twerked a bit for you, you don’t have to use it if you don’t want its just for reference.

American musician Gerard Way once said, “Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary.” Any person can make a difference if they are willing to put forth the effort and not give up. They keep going and when something gets in their way they persevere.

Perseverance plays a huge role in the subject of heroism. A prime example of perseverance is the character of a timid clown fish named Marlin in Disney Pixar’s Finding Nemo. When Marlin’s son, Nemo, gets captured by fishing nets in the Great Barrier Reef, Marlin sets out into the open ocean to find his son. Marlin battles his way through challenges such as sharks, jellyfish, and deep sea anglers. He risks his life time and time again and will stop at nothing untill his son is back in the safety of the reef.