Close

09/04/2019

Tell me what you think of my essay for Nursing Scool PLZZZ?

QUESTION
Tell me what you think of my essay for Nursing Scool PLZZZ?
My interest in Nursing began at age 16. I always knew that I would choose a career in healthcare but as to what I would do was uncertain. Having visited hospitals to visit and support family and friends, I got the chance to observe different types of jobs and career paths but what really stuck out to me was Nursing and what it entitles. A Nurse’s job is to focus on treatment and recovery of the patient. Nurses constantly get challenged to the maximum of their ability and continue to gain the experience and strength needed to face the situations that follow.

I have a friend who was in labor at Memorial West. She was struggling throughout her contractions being that this was her first child and was apprehensive of the situation. When she was finally fully dilated and it was time for the baby to come, the person who played a major part in assisting her through labor was the RN who held her hand the entire time. The baby was being very stubborn and even with her mother and husband there to help; the RN gently guided her through this frustrating experience. Finally, when the baby came out it was a beautiful baby girl and my friend named her Ebony Suzie Romero. Her middle name was the name of the RN that was there for her every step of the way. For my friend to be so grateful of the Nurse’s help that she would acknowledge her by giving her daughter that middle is inspiring and I’m sure fulfilling.

To me there is no greater feeling than the feeling of knowing that you were able to help someone or assist in saving their life. That their pain got better because you were able to do whatever there was possible to help them. This is why I chose to become a Nurse because I will do whatever there is necessary to help my patient feel comfortable again. I want to become a Nurse because I want to help the world, one patient at a time.

ANSWER
You do not need to capitalize nurse when not using it as a proper noun. Also, you are using “entites” wrong (entails?); some of your sentence are too slang (” what really stuck out”); there are also some wrong tense changes (“being that this”)-that whole second sentence (paragraph 2) IS NOT GRAMMATICALLY correct (sorry I hit caps by accident–i am not yelling). Also delete all the personal stuff in paragraph 2 about the name, cuteness etc; you can say that the baby was names for the RN (but I would not put in the actual name). Rework paragraph 3; it is awkward & trite. Good luck on your future career!!