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09/08/2019

What do you think of my essay; how is the ending?

QUESTION
What do you think of my essay; how is the ending?
I was born with achondraplaisa; the most common form of dwarfism which occurs in 1 out of 15,000 new born babies. It can be past down genetically or by a new sporadic mutagen. From growing up to be different from the rest of the world, you see everything in a different perspective. When you are young the world seems perfectly normal until something make you stick out from all the rest, you don’t really notice anything until you found out that you can’t reach something off of the counter or when you can’t open a door. When somebody tells you that you have a disability, you tend to think less of yourself. It makes you think that you are limited and can’t achieve greatness. Most of the time a person can bypass what they say, but when it builds up on you, and eventually your bridge will begin to crack. When you’re a teenager, knowing that it will be hard to fit in from the crowd can make you feel loneliness and depression. Eventually, you’ll find ways to deal with it or find people who will accept you for who you are. Still, you have the desire to meet someone like yourself in the same condition as you are. It’s a burning sensation that you want to have a conversation with somebody at eye level instead of looking up to talk to someone. There is an organization for people with dwarfism, a place called “LPA” (Little People of America). It’s a place for people with dwarfism or short stature that can all come together from all over the world to socialize, get involve with sports/activities, or even find someone of the opposite sex. It usually takes place at a grand hotel located at a state of choice; ex. New York City, Nashville, Los Angeles. It’s a great concept, but they’re just too many flaws that never seem to be resolved. There are limited amount of days you spend time with everyone and everything goes too quickly. It costs large amounts of money and lots of traveling. If you stay there too long, the people get restless and drama starts to build up. There is so much emotion in LPA that it’s like an atomic bomb going off. It seems like there is no point of going to LPA, but the one thing I see that makes all the troubles go away is just hope to find your friend for life and find that special someone who resembles you. Though the friendships are forever, the relationships don’t last long because of the long distances apart. It’s a struggle for everyone to find the right people, but they should have known sense the beginning. A person is a person, no matter how small.

ANSWER
It usually takes place at a grand hotel located in places like New York City, Nashville, Los Angeles.

It costs large amounts of money and involves lots of traveling

Above I edited the two sentences a little bit.

You are correct about the last two sentences, they do not make much sense.
Though the friendships are forever, the relationships don’t last long because of the long distances apart. That sentence is a strong, do you mean romantic relationships don’t last long?

I suggest you rethink what you are trying to say. I suggest you clarify it in a different way in your own words.

It’s a struggle for everyone to find the right people, but people who are little people might forget your partner might not be a little person because a person is a person, no matter how small.

Is that really butchering what you meant?