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09/04/2019

Who originally wrote this? “I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. “?

QUESTION
Who originally wrote this? “I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. “?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for refugees, I write award-winning operas, and I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I am bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of … WHY DO MANY GUYS COPY THIS ON THEIR ONLINE PROFILES?

ANSWER
This has become an urban legend that started with an essay written by Hugh Gallagher

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl…
College Application Essay
Netlore Archive: The most outrageous college application essay ever written
Description: Email hoax/Satire
Circulating since: 1990
Status: Not an actual application essay
Email example contributed by Bruce G., 25 June 2000

The site follows the complete essay with this:

Comments: This satirical essay, or a version of it, was written by a high school student named Hugh Gallagher, who entered it in the humor category of the Scholastic Writing Awards in 1990 and won first prize. It was subsequently published in Literary Calvalcade, a magazine of contemporary student writing, and reprinted in Harper’s and The Guardian before taking off as one of the most forwarded “viral” emails of the decade.
Though this was not his actual college application essay, Gallagher was ultimately accepted at NYU, where he graduated in 1994. Since then he has worked as a freelance writer. His first novel, Teeth, was published by Pocket Books in March 1998.