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09/04/2019

Will this make a good essay?

QUESTION
Will this make a good essay?
This is my essay. The topic is sometimes i wish…. Ok, um, i need to edit this and everything. But i need to know if this is a good essay. so, can u edit it and comment? and know that i didn’t edit this yet so… thx! 🙂
Here it is:

Sometimes I wish that I could grow to be an incredible writer. That would be the one thing in life that I desire most. First of all, I know that I would still have to work to become a wonderful writer. But the problem is, I can’t find a decent writing school! My next problem is the inspiration and making the story really interesting. My last difficulty is seeing things from the reader’s point of view.
As I said before, I can’t find a normal writing school. I’ve searched it millions of times, but they turn out to be way overpriced, say…$300 or so for 1 session. Sometimes, they are located too far away, like New York. But mostly, it’s the age limits. They say 18+, but I’m only 10! I really wish I could find a great writing school that’s not too pricey, within my age limits, and also at least only 30 minutes away (not 1 week away).
I think this problem is the most difficult of them all. Getting inspiration and pulling the reader into the book. I want my story to be intriguing and interesting to others. I wish that my words could form vivid images in people’s minds. It’s kind of like a power that some writer’s have, making the book so fascinating that you feel like you exist inside it. Remember my inspiration problem, well, I really wish that just by looking at something would inspire and idea. That would make writing a lot easier. When I don’t get ideas, it somewhat makes me feel like giving up on writing, but then, I just remember how much I love it. I wish I could stir that feeling all the time. When I remember how much passion I have for writing, a wave of excitement washes over me, and I start typing like crazy. I mean, five hours could pass me by, and I wouldn’t have noticed nor cared. I’m rarely ever disheartened now, but I can still write like that…sometimes. The feeling is really hard to explain.
Remember my last difficulty? I said that I can’t seem to see things from reader’s view when I’m writing. And it’s true, I can’t. I can see from reader’s and writer’s view when I read a book, though. I don’t really understand it. It’s kind of like I can see how difficult it is to write a book. I just wish that others could see my story’s from my point of view, so I wouldn’t have to explain everything. It’s like I can comprehend what I’m trying to write, but others cannot. It’s puzzling to me. I wish it wasn’t like that.
Well, so I wished that I could be an excellent writer. And now I’m going to try harder at it. I hope I reach that goal by the time I’m eleven, at least.
So, to sum this entire essay up, I’ll remind you what my biggest problems are. Firstly, I CANNOT find a good writing school, for writing only. I know that I have other subjects to learn, but I would be willing to take extra writing classes, in addition to my regular classes. Next, another trouble is finding inspiration and making the story interesting. I think I’m going to be working on this more than any others. Lastly, it’s very hard to see things from reader’s view when you’re the writer. But I’ll at least give it a shot. Overall, I really wish that I could become an awesome writer and I will be working very hard to make sure that this wish comes true.

ANSWER
I’m very impressed, especially since you’re only ten years old. Overall, it’s a good essay, but here are a few things you might want to think about.

When you are writing an essay, especially if it’s for a professional or academic audience, you want to steer clear of relaxing and allowing your voice become too conversational. This may be okay in your creative writing but I’ve had teachers tear my writing apart. Also, you want to avoid contractions. When it comes to academic writing, contractions are a major taboo.

On the other hand, I am still very impressed with this sample of writing. You’re what, in the fifth grade? You have a lot of time to hone your skills. Relax, find that inspiration and never be afraid to go for your dream. 😉