Close

09/04/2019

Will you please help me edit my short college essay on “Why We Should Not Carry Guns”?

QUESTION
Will you please help me edit my short college essay on “Why We Should Not Carry Guns”?
I am pro-gun, so this essay was hard for me to write. Please help me edit it and do not give me your views unless they will help me with my paper! It is due later on today 4/21/10. Thank you much!

______________________________________…

Many people use self defense to defend themselves and their property. “In 1982, a survey of imprisoned criminals found that 34% of them had been scared off, shot at, wounded or captured by an armed victim.” I believe in self defense, but carrying a gun is something I personally would never do because I would not be able to pull the trigger on another human being. I believe self-defense is not limited to the use of guns. Carrying a gun is unnecessary to the general public due to the strength of our military, the danger of an untrained individual handling a gun, and the many other ways there are to defend ourselves.
The collective self-defense argument is that if many Americans own guns, it is better for the general well-being of the country in the event that we are invaded by a foreign power. This is impractical given the power of the American military. We can see how dangerous the collective self-defense argument is by taking a look at amateur militias in our country. These militia members are probably passive, but without being under any type of supervised regulation, and having nobody to answer to, they have substantial force and could cause extreme damage. Those who are under regulation, like the United States Armed Services and the National Guard for example are much more likely to be able to protect us.
Untrained, or under-trained, persons carrying loaded hidden firearms in public puts people at risk of being killed or injured, intentionally as well as unintentionally. Guns make accidental death, murder and suicide more likely. If a person does not have a gun it is not possible for them to shoot yourself or someone else with it. It also makes it harder for law enforcement to recognize the real perpetrators during a shooting. Did you know that owning a gun increases your chances of being killed by a gun? Someone may steal it and use it, someone may accidentally shoot someone with it or someone might just wrestle it from you and shoot you. Now you can be shot and injured in a situation where you could have just been robbed! Speaking to police officers they almost universally believe that untrained people carrying weapons usually make a bad situation worse.
Instead, a person could use other, less harmful artillery to defend themselves. Once I was robbed in New York. I do not know if my assailant had a gun but I definitely did not want to find out. I thought about running but decided against it. I let him steal my bag and kick me down because I did not want to get shot or stabbed. Carrying less harmful weapons, like pepper spray, mace, or maybe a knife could be of use to people who fear being attacked. Guns are designed to kill, while the weapons that I have mentioned could be used immediately before you run away from the problem.
Lastly, if one believes they need to carry a gun to protect them, they are a slave to today’s society. They are slaves to the havoc that mankind has worked for ages to civilize. Foreign invaders are not coming to reek havoc on Americans nowadays, making the amendment that allows us to bear arms seem very dated. Also, only authorities are properly trained to use guns. Regular and everyday Americans, including women, have other ways and tools that they can use to defend themselves besides carrying and concealing a lethal weapon! Some will say, “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people” but guns make the tragedy a hell of a lot easier, don’t they?

RyRy*

ANSWER
Pretty good RyRy. A couple things I would change, though.

“In 1982, a survey of imprisoned criminals found that 34% of them had been scared off, shot at, wounded or captured by an armed victim.”

Two things. First, the survey is almost 30 years old. That is far too out dated. Second, I think that statistic is pretty powerful in favor of pro-gun advocates. It undermines your essay’s overall meaning.

“Untrained, or under-trained, persons carrying loaded hidden firearms in public puts people at risk of being killed or injured, intentionally as well as unintentionally.”

Can be changed to..

Untrained or under-trained individuals carrying concealed firearms in public puts people at risk of being killed or injured intentionally as well as unintentionally.

I think you have established principles and a foundation on which sound inferences can be made in your favor. Nicely done.